Near Death Experience Number One:
Learning They Are Real,
And Making A Choice
My First Trip to Heaven’s Gate
Little did I know that day, as I walked into the dentist’s office that it would either be my last day on Earth or a major turning point in my life. An unusual and unearthly event would soon change everything I thought I knew about life, death and beyond death.
I never was a very easy dental patient. The fact that the nerve wiring in my mouth is totally messed up probably has something to do with that. One dentist said it was as if someone had opened the main power panel for a building, pulled all the wires out and randomly scrambled them as they were reassembled in the box. They never knew where to put the Novocain to work on my teeth. It was all trial and error based on my level of pain. It usually meant numbing my entire mouth to work on one tooth. Never fun. As a result, I was always nervous and squirmy in the dental chair. The solution seemed to be “laughing gas,” to calm me down. So, I went along with it, like a good girl, as I had numerous times before.
I was 24 years old and still trusted the medical profession to take care of me. It didn’t work out that way.
I sat in the chair, feeling a little anxious and spoke to the nurse, “Please set the ‘laughing gas’ (nitrous oxide) on the lowest setting. It only takes a little bit to help me calm down enough to let the doctor work on me.”
“Sure thing,” she said as she fussed with the dials. “There. That is as low as we can set it. I think you will be fine with this. Now let’s get the rest of the system set up for you.” With that she set up the equipment, watched the dials and me for a few minutes assessing the situation. “Ok. Everything is set, you should be getting drowsy soon, and the doctor and I will be back in a few minutes to work on your teeth. Enjoy the bliss of the gas” and left the room.
Fidgeting and disliking the feeling of the laughing gas, I struggled to be calm and wait for the dentist to come and begin working.
I did calm down. In fact, I got really sleepy. “Well this is different from other times,” I thought. “I don’t like the feeling of being woozy and out of control. But this is a little different. All I want to do is go to sleep…” That is what I slipped into. Or so I thought.
“Dark. Dark! So dark all of a sudden! I don’t see, feel, or hear anything. I don’t like this at all. I wish I could call for the nurse to help me.”
Then sparks of bright light began flashing around me. It was like you sometimes get after a bright light flashes and disappears. And I could feel tiny muscle twitches randomly hitting around my body, like pinpricks and startled little jumps away from whatever it was. Still no sound and nothing in the darkness except for those sparkling lights.
Suddenly, I am literally drifting through this opening in a very strange cloud bank. The colors were a little odd, not real dark but streaked with various shades of grey. And it was pulsating like a lake when a school of fish is swimming by. It almost seemed like I could catch glimpses of shadows here and there trying to break through the surface then receding. Strange…
I began to realize that I was actually traveling through something like a pipeline or tunnel through this grey cloud. Never close enough to touch it, and not at all uncomfortable. Just pleasantly curious about what I was seeing and a mild sense of recognition.
I have no idea how long or how “far” I floated before the lighting at the end of this opening began to get brighter and brighter. I was being drawn to that brilliant, yet soothing light like a moth to a flame. Curiouser and curiouser I believe Alice said during her great adventure…
As I grew closer, the light continued to intensify into a glorious golden color with sparks of rainbow colors floating about. Gentle. Beautiful. Compelling.
Then figures began to emerge from the light casting light shadows as they beckoned me forward. It suddenly felt like home. Who were these beings?
I realized an angel was by my side guiding me through the long tunnel. “How long has the angel been with me?” I wondered. “How had I not noticed until now? How wonderful.”
“Laverne! Over here!” someone called. Oh my word! It was my maternal grandmother! And then my father. Then my paternal great grandmother. And oh, so many other people that felt like family, coming up and embracing me. Amazing and wonderful! Peace, joy, and love filled every part of my being.
Realization dawned! I had somehow arrived at the gate to Heaven. I must be dead. That’s ok. This is truly wonderful. I’ll take it!
I was allowed to enjoy this bliss for a short time, without realizing I was being kept right at the gate and not ushered in.
Then a large, beautiful being touched me lightly on the back of my shoulder, somehow compelling me to turn to him. The most magnificent being I had ever encountered. “Oh my! This is what an angel looks like,” was my reaction. I was completely overcome with a multitude of emotions from fear of rejection to joyful recognition. Far beyond any earthly set of emotions I had ever experienced.
I turned away from the angel and reached out toward the light and could not go any further. That is when I realized that my family had all returned to the light and I was still not being allowed through the gate. Was I not “good” enough to enter Heaven? Had I done something that would keep me out forever? What was going to happen to me? Was I going to be damned for something I didn’t even know I had done? Panic and a huge void in my heart began to set in.
“Fear not Laverne. You are not banned from Heaven. If you so desire after we speak together, you can certainly go through the gate. But we must talk first. My name is Enoch, and I am your highest angelic soul guide. We have much to discuss. So please calm yourself and listen.” As he gently reached for my hand, my panic was replaced with that love I had just felt from my family. I was again at peace.
Enoch’s piercing yet gentle gaze reassured me. I waited for whatever would come next.
I looked about and saw several other beings that seemed familiar, but did not know who they were. I did not need their names. They were beautiful.
“Laverne,” Enoch stated, “your body has died in that dental chair. You are free of it and the life you have been living, if that is what you want.” He paused to let me digest that revelation. “Or, you can go back to your family, your children, and the responsibilities you still have on Earth. You are to make that decision. Now. Please consider your options carefully.”
I gasped and fell to my knees as the full meaning of his words sunk in. I had a loving husband, two beautiful little girls one of which was only a few months old, and a widowed mother to consider. “They do need me. How can I abandon them?” Were my first thoughts. Then, “but it is so wonderful here that it is nearly impossible to consider leaving.”
All the angels were watching me struggle with my very important decision, while Enoch continued to hold my hand. I looked up into his eyes and suddenly knew what my choice must be.
With a mixture of great regret and budding joy I whispered, “I will go back to my life on Earth. I cannot leave my family.”
It seemed that all the angels had been holding their breath because there were great sighs of relief all about me. The tension I did not realize they had felt had been broken.
“Now let us tell you why we are so relieved that you made that choice.” He explained. “Before your birth you made a covenant to be a spiritual warrior in the earthly realms. There are many tasks that you will be called upon to accomplish later in life. If you had decided to stay in Heaven, many plans would have needed to be changed. Yet we would have managed. Your decision to return to your purpose in this lifetime is valuable and valued. We thank you for making this choice.”
“But can I visit with my Heavenly family again?” I asked, stretching my neck to look around him as I sought one last glimpse of those I loved.
“No. You cannot. The draw to enter and stay would be too strong of a temptation. It is already very difficult we know. It is best to delay that reunion.” All of the angels murmured their agreement and nodded their heads. Sadly, I understood and agreed.
And then everything went black. I had no idea where I was. “What happened?”
“Laverne!” Someone else was calling me this time. “Wake up! Wake up! Please wake up!” Male and female voices were yelling at me as they pounded my chest, violently shaking me and even slapping my face.
“Ow! That hurts!” My eyes popped open and I looked around to find myself once again in the dental chair with both the dentist and nurse peering down at me from each side with wide eyes and pale skin. Visibly panicked, and breathing rapidly. I even noticed sweat on my dentist’s brow.
I had an oxygen mask on my face pumping air into my lungs. My eyes hurt from the harsh lighting, and my chest hurt a little from the resuscitation they had just administered. My breathing was fast and labored. I was in shock. Fortunately, it did not last long. What a rude awakening.
“Oh, thank God!” they said simultaneously as their shoulders slumped and they dropped their hands to their sides. The dentist yelled, “Check her vitals. Now! How is she doing?” After a quick check I was deemed to be ok. I was simply weak and dizzy.
“Oh, my God!” the dentist nearly shouted. “You made it back. Thank God and all the angels. Your vitals were completely gone and you were comatose for I don’t know how long. We thought you were gone for sure. I’m both relieved and amazed that you made it back. Whew! What a scare. How do you feel?”
I thought to myself, “They must mean they thought I was dead. Oh. I guess I was! Amazing.”
“I think I’m ok. I went to sleep this time, and had a strange dream. But I’m getting better now. I am dizzy and my head is starting to hurt. But I think I’ll be ok in a minute.”
In the meantime, the nurse had gone over to a control panel of some sort and was doing something with the controls and a read-out panel. Once again, she was pale and wide-eyed. She beckoned the doctor over to the panel. When he got there, she was frantically pointing at the readout and whispering to the doctor. He began to fiddle with the controls as well and his eyes went wide. Then he got angry before turning back to speak with me.
“I don’t know how this happened. We got all new equipment just a few days ago and it has been working fine.” He paused, took a deep breath, and continued. “I have to inform you that the oxygen supply completely shut off for 10 minutes before we found you. That means that you were being completely oxygen deprived, and on straight nitrous oxide gas for that full 10 minutes. We were only out of the room for 15 minutes at the most, which means the equipment failed within minutes of our leaving. When we found you, you were clinically dead (he paused for a moment). It took us nearly 5 minutes to resuscitate you! We thought we had lost you completely.”
He went on. “I just don’t understand this. Brand new equipment, working three days, and then it fails miserably. And my patient dies in the chair! How could this ever happen?” He is gesticulating wildly by this point, and the nurse had sunk into the nearest chair in shock, barely breathing, watching the doctor’s reaction. “I am so very sorry you went through this. I am going to call them RIGHT NOW!” And he stormed out of the room.
By then, the nurse had recovered enough to again check my vitals and ask how I was doing, as she kept glancing toward the door the doctor had just exited. She was finally getting her color back. In fact, she was turning beet red with her own look of fury beginning to fill her face.
“I have to leave for just one minute. I promise. I have to let the next patient know there will be a delay. Then I will come back and sit with you. Do NOT try to get up while I am gone! I WILL be right back.” She was true to her word and took almost no time to return.
The whole situation was beginning to congeal in my mind. I began to understand that I hadn’t just fallen asleep and had a beautiful yet somewhat frustrating dream. I really had died. I had experienced everything that I had heard other people talk about when they had what they called a Near Death Experience, or NDE. Wow! That was REAL! I had met dead relatives at the gate of Heaven. I was suddenly pretty glad it wasn’t the gates to another realm. That was a relief. I had talked to angels and made my own decision, even though I was coerced, to come back and live in this world. I even remembered being told something about some kind of work I was supposed to do in the future. And who was this Enoch angel? Why did he seem so familiar and important to me? I guessed I would find out sometime in the future about that (and I did years later).
The doctor returned, with a mixture of satisfaction and pure anger warring on his face. “Well, I talked to the company, and they are sending someone over right now to attend to this. I just don’t know how to express how sorry I really am that this happened to you.” He turned to the nurse, “how is she doing?” The nurse nodded her head and smiled a little for the first time.
All three of us were quiet for a short while.
When all my vitals were stable and I was no longer feeling dizzy, I was allowed to leave with a warning to be especially careful as I drove home. I was told to lie down but not go to sleep. And when someone got home to have them look me over to be sure I looked ok. I said my goodbyes and drove home.
All that commotion and I didn’t even get my teeth worked on.
I called my Mom to be sure my babies were ok and asked her to keep them until my husband could pick them up. “Of course,” she said. Thanks goodness she didn’t ask too many questions. I needed time to recuperate and sort out what I had experienced.
When I told hubby that night he was fit to be tied and just didn’t know what to do with himself. He kept checking me out to be sure I was ok. After quite a bit of conversation and reassurances, he calmed down.
I shared my Heavenly visit with him and the decision I made to come back and live at least a while longer. He kind of brushed it aside as a side effect of the gas mishap, but was very glad I seemed to be ok. Which I was.
I now know that this was my first true NDE and that everything I experienced was real. I also know that I made the right decision. For many reasons. My extra time with my family and the amazing experiences I have had since have been confirmation of that decision.
A question I am often asked when I share this story is “Did you sue them?” No, I did not. If I had been older, I may have. But at the time I was just happy to be alive and well. So I let it go and chalked it up to an important life lesson. I let go, let God.
The only lasting physical after effect that I noticed was a challenge remembering names. Even the words like “pencil,” “glass,” my husband’s name, and even my own name from time to time were hard to recall. To this day it is sporadic and frustrating. Nearly four decades later, while taking a bio psychology course, I finally understood why the naming became an issue. The combination of oxygen starvation and nitrous oxide poisoning had partially damaged the part of my brain that processes names. Fascinating. That was when I was able to forgive myself for these lapses I still have. Yet, my professor helped me understand how lucky I was to have such a minor effect from that incident.
I am content to live each day, and content to face the time when I do leave this physical realm for the last time. Although not anxious to speed up the timeline, I do look forward to going home.
This was the first of three extreme events with the opportunity to choose whether to die or live. Each one was impactful, important, and life-altering. I was told that the third one would be the last opportunity to choose. It has been. My work is not yet done…
Send me a comment about what interests you and I will make an effort to write an article or put together training for you.
Where there is a will, there is a way.