Revelations of An Abortion Survivor
Regarding abortion.
For those of you who do not believe a child in the womb is yet a person, read this little story. Shari (not her real name) had felt unwanted and unloved her entire life. She had lived 80 years in tremendous emotional pain related to these feelings. What she discovered answered many questions and changed her life.
Babies in the womb are aware of their environment and the mother’s feelings about the pregnancy.
Shari had lived a challenging life feeling unwanted, useless, and unloved. She had been married but could never accept the fact that she might be loved or even worthy of love. Staying in far corners of gatherings, unable to look people in the eyes, and the fear that someone would hate her enough to kill her at any time were the cornerstones of her life. Depression and anxiety kept her isolated and lonely. Her entire life had been spent longing to be desired and accepted.
By the time she came to me she was a widow who had estranged herself from her mother and her children. What she had feared most had become her reality. Utterly alone and in constant emotional pain, she admitted that our work together was the last effort she would make to stay alive. To say she was suicidal would have been an understatement.
She wanted to discover the root cause of all these horrid feelings that had filled her life for as long as she could remember. Trembling with pain and fear, eyes streaming tears, she asked for help.
My instinct was to do a regression therapy session to discover and address the original causation that had haunted her entire life. What we found was quite different from what I expected to find. I expected to explore another lifetime. Instead, she went to her time in her mother’s womb and the abuse she had suffered from multiple failed attempts at abortion.
We began with the early stages of the pregnancy and followed the events at different stages of her prenatal experiences. The method was a guided meditation with me asking many questions and her reactions to the questions and her prenatal experiences. What we discovered important truths that her mother and family had hidden her entire life.
She recounted in great detail the entire pregnancy. Her memory showed that she was fully aware of her surroundings wile in the womb, and could recall very specific conversations of her mother and others around her. She could also remember quite vividly her mother’s direct and purposeful actions designed to end the pregnancy. Shari discovered that during the early months of her pregnancy, she really was unwanted and an unexpected burden on her mother. Those early months were filled with hate, resentment, and violence. Everything Shari had carried as a burden in life.
She remembered her mother telling her friends and family how much she hated the pregnancy and the child she carried. As Shari verbalized what she had heard, I could tell how devastating it was for the child within. The details and emotional responses were compelling and surprising.
Shari remembered her mother having her boyfriend (Shari’s father) punch and kick the mother’s stomach to induce a miscarriage, to no avail. Shari felt the pain and rejection, yet held on to life.
As we went further into the pregnancy, Shari remembered having her whole body burned by an attempted saline abortion, silently screaming in agonizing pain. Twice. During our session she was anything but silent: screaming and sobbing her anguish that had never before been heard. She could name the doctors and nurses, and describe the hospital room where the saline induced abortion attempt took place. She even named the city and the hospital’s name.
Twice her mother burned and tortured her baby in an effort to kill and abort the unwanted “abomination” living within her body.
Yet the child lived on. Fully aware of everything.
Shari could repeat verbatim the words of hatred and despair from her mother and other family members. “I hate this thing in me!” “Why can’t I get rid of it?” “I do not want to have a child or be a mother.” Words that would live in Shari’s subconscious image of herself and guide her every action and reaction.
Somehow this lovely and courageous soul was stronger than the hatefulness of her mother and others who tried so hard to end the pregnancy. She survived. Yet she was emotionally scarred, and incidentally had strange scars on her body which seemed inexplainable until our fateful session.
Gratefully, she discovered that during the fifth month of the pregnancy something changed within her mother. This little girl-child growing in her womb was suddenly important and loved. Shari was finally wanted. Yet the months of abuse and pain had made an indelible mark on her psyche which haunted every moment of a painful life. She never heard or accepted the love her mother tried to give. The two of them had a truly tumultuous relationship, which Shari never understood.
Gratefully, she discovered that during the fifth month of the pregnancy something changed within her mother. This little girl-child growing in her womb was suddenly important and loved. Shari was finally wanted. Yet the months of abuse and pain had made an indelible mark on her psyche which haunted every moment of a painful life. She never heard or accepted the love her mother tried to give. The two of them had a truly tumultuous relationship, which Shari never understood.
Revisiting that pre-birth trauma was horrible for her to experience, yet it answered so many of the questions she had carried for a lifetime.
She screamed her physical and emotional pain during the session. It was the first time she had ever found a way to vent that pain. She began to understand the origin of the lifetime pain she had carried. Understand that I only let my clients experience the actual pain like this when it is to their highest good and ability to fully understand the real cause of current challenges. This was one of those rare times.
From the first weeks of life in the womb and through her entire lifetime that early pain had been stuffed away and never allowed expression. The catharsis was necessary and extremely empowering.
When she came out of the meditation, she was a changed woman. She wiped away the tears, sat up straight and strong with an air of determination and relief. We spent quite a while in a counseling session dealing with what she had discovered. I urged her to speak to her still-living mother about her discoveries. She agreed.
The clincher was that her mother, now very old and willing to finally admit the truth when confronted, verified everything Shari experienced. The mother’s physical attempts to self-abort, the two saline injections, as well as the specific dialogues and medical details were all revealed. It was all true! And extremely accurate. Shari’s mother was shocked and shamed, yet willing to explain the reasons for her actions and how it had all turned around for her when she realized how much she loved her little girl.
Discovering that her emotional fears were founded in fact, and not some wild “imagination,” as she had been told for a lifetime, finally gave Shari an opportunity to heal. Her mother shared how glad she was that the cruelty she had inflicted on Shari was ineffective. Her mother expressed the shame she felt. Shari’s mother confessed how wrong she was and how much she loved her little daughter by the time she entered the world. The cloud of despair and lies was lifted for both of them. Love and forgiveness blossomed them.
Two weeks later Shari called me. Her entire world view, and her whole life, had changed. She realized how much of a fighter and survivor she was. She realized that there was a soul plan for this life that was stronger than the weaknesses of her mother. She had made a covenant to endure and survive the torture, which she did. Shari also realized how miraculous her survival really was. Everything she saw in the meditation turned out to be absolute truth. Her memory of her time in the womb was accurate and intact. Completely! Fully conscious and aware!
Therefore, I ask you to consider this: recognize that a child in the womb is a living and conscious person which does know what is happening. That little being already has strong feelings of its own, and is forming opinions about how life works. We proved it.
Keep this story in mind when you consider the truth about abortion, and the actions you allow regarding these precious children.
Also realize that there is another side to this issue. Most of the children who are aborted realize that the situation has a soul purpose and lesson for both the baby and the parent. However sad it is, there is a reason which only God and our high spiritual selves understand. There has been a contract between the souls of the mother and child that is difficult to understand, yet is real and important. We must understand and leave it in God’s hands.
Bless the beautiful souls that experience such horrid situations and pray that whatever purpose is being served has the desired value and outcome the souls of the mother and child arranged.
Each person’s responsibility is to be fully mindful that the little soul conceived and living in the womb is aware and alive. Our actions have consequences for ourselves and others.
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